For Thanksgiving, A Craigslist- Pumpkin Pie Chart!
Sure, Craigslist can tell us where to find that missed connection, a holiday gig, an iPhone or a strictly platonic encounter, but can it tell us what New Yorkers are thankful for this year? The answer lies in Craigslist's Rants and Raves section, where the lively banter revolves around everything from burning a hoo ha to images of hippos. Out of gratitude, I've concocted a festive pie chart of over 100 recent Rants and Raves. Full breakdown and exerpts after the jump.
Click to enlarge.
Some highlights:
On hipsters:
What a thought. Both female and male hipsters rubbing their cheese-encrusted genitalia together, the female hipster generally disappointed with the size of the male hipster appendage and the male hipster generally pissed off that yet again, a female hipster turned out to be not so nice under all the layers of deceptively complex hipster clothing. Pasty, cheese-encrusted etc.
...Imagine two filthy hobos gyrating in mud in the buff, you're on the right track. What's that smell.....smells like boiled onions??? Yep that's right boiled onions! Every hipster knows what I'm talking about....their filthy little secrets!
On Indians:
...I now knew she did it bareback, so to speak. Anyhow, to the nasty ass Indian who just started shit on this board, CARE TO COMMENT ? Don't EVEN say anything about whores or whatever, just tell us how badly you treat YOUR women, huh ?!!!!!! You POS no deodorant wearing scum under peoples shoes. P.S. IMMIGRATION is WATCHING.........
On she males:
I really like the passable she-males I have been out to the movies with one named Valerie. She is 5'11 latina she-male and NO ONE could tell the difference she has big 38DD boobs nice hourglass figure and an ass bigger than most women I know.. She has a tattoo on her breast with the name of her ex todd. Sometimes she takes the 7 train watch for her you may see her ;)
On being a corporate executive:
I make $800,000 per year, which is well below average for most CEO's. For a forty hour week, that comes to about $384 per hour. You working class drips are just jealous they we were smart enough to take control of your nation's wealth and resources. Whether we inherited most of our money doesn't matter. You should have gone to Yale like I did instead of wasting your days working in that restaurant.
On what to do if you toast your hoo ha with Nair:
This sounds bizarre, but really works: after aloe vera to get rid of the worse stinging, save your own URINE (!) and dabb it onto the little muffin in the evening. You'll see, by the next morning it will start healing. You should dabb some urine on every day for 4-5 days.
Wont smell, just make sure you let it dry before you put undies/clothes on.
No creme will heal skin problems as fast as urine!
Happy Thanksgiving.