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Face it: The man can hit. Home run king Barry Bonds couples an uncanny ability to see the ball's incoming trajectory — before it leaves the pitcher's hand — with nearly superhuman slugging power. I've never been a sports nut, but watching Bonds knock the ball into the bay is a million times better than reading "Inside Baseball" articles about what goes on between games. Now, San Francisco's sports superstar appears headed for jail. His mistake wasn't taking steroids, it was falling for the same trick prosecutors used on Valley execs with backdated stock options.

In short: They got Barry to lie while under oath three years ago. Now it doesn't matter whether or not he doped up. Like Eliot Ness jailing Al Capone for tax evasion, modern prosecutors look not for the crime, but for the cover-up. Bonds has now joined Martha Stewart and Scooter Libby — or more locally, investment banker Frank Quattrone, whose conviction was later overturned — in the perjury-charge Hall of Fame. A hypocritical end for a player whose Valley fans brag daily that their Ajax-amped websites are "like Slashdot on steroids."