We'll admit to have only the blurriest recollection of anything that transpired after the second commercial break on the Project Runway premiere last night, having perhaps made the rules of our champagne drinking game a tad too easy ("drink if someone rolls their eyes," "drink if someone gives bitch-face," and "drink if someone says the word 'drape'" alone were responsible for killing two magnums of Trader Joe's finest sparkling swill). After a 13 month hiatus, the series got off to a running start—quite literally, with all designers making a mad dash across Bryant park for the luxury fabrics that would compose their first outfit, an athletic task which proved too much for lovable, ursine participant Chris.

The breakout contestant of episode one would undoubtedly be resident kook Elisa, who "imbued" her expensive fabric with intentional grass stains, "hand-measured" her models (sure to be a commonly used defense from now on in designer rape trials), and who sent something down the runway that looked, to quote one party guest, like "a blue sack that shit the NBC logo out its back." Sadly, when it came down to Elisa's peacock poop or Simone's "boring, poorly made, no 'wow!'" outfit, as Michael Kors put it, the decision was all too easy: On Runway, the crazies always win.