Judith Regan's not an anti-semite: She's an Italophobe! As the full 70-page text of her $100 million lawsuit against HarperCollins and News Corp. reveals, Judy herself is the victim of a "smear campaign." Remember those awful claims that Ms. Regan, upon her post-If I Did It dismissal, made mention of a "Jewish cabal" and "Of all people...the Jews should know about telling the big lie." Why were such malicious falsehoods spread about a lady who's, at worst, only the second most repellent nouveau Judy to have funded fornication with 9/11 charity monies? You guessed it: because of the NewsCorp conspiracy to elect Rudy Giuliani president at all costs!

Indeed, Judith Regan's spellbinding, marvelously paced legal complaint, prepared by attorneys Brian C. Kerr and Seth Redniss and filed yesterday in State Supreme Court, should serve as a warning to us all.

After all, "Regan is a self-made, hard-working, dedicated, single mother who supported herself from the age of 14, worked her way through school, and built (against all odds) one of the most diverse, provocative, and colorful imprints in history."

But as a section entitled Defendants Defame Regan By Claiming That She Made Anti-Semitic Comments tragically illustrates, the self-made and hard-working are no match against the manipulations and machinations of a group tiny in number but limitless in power and ambition:

106. The most outrageous piece of defendants' propaganda was disseminated in the December 18, 2006 edition of The New York Times, in which defendants stated that the real reason Regan had been fired was because she had made anti-Semitic comments during a telephone conversation with Jackson.

108. Defendants made sure that their false accusations of anti-Semitic comments were disseminated globally by having a News Corp. representative speak to The Associated Press on December 18, 2006.

111. Defendants' defamatory statements were disseminated in every major media outlet—on television, radio, the Internet and in print—subjecting her to worldwide vilification and scorn.

4. NOT A SINGLE ANNOUNCEMENT WILL REACH THE PUBLIC WITHOUT OUR CONTROL. Even now this is already being attained by us inasmuch as all news items are received by a few agencies, in whose offices they are focused from all parts of the world. These agencies will then be already entirely ours and will give publicity only to what we dictate to them.

Whoops. Actually that last clause turns out to be from a different legal, totally factual document. My bad.