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Though Museum of the Moving Image honoree Tom Cruise escaped a NY dinner celebrating his cinematic accomplishments without being mercilessly roasted by his important friends (apparently, nobody there could be bothered to bring their best "Hitler haircut" or "he who smelt the mystery fart, dealt it" material), a former co-star did manage to shock the event's attendees with this disturbing anecdote from the set of Magnolia, as reported by Rush & Molloy:

Magnolia co-star Julianne Moore told Tim Robbins, a red-eyed Oliver Stone and Hollywood bigs like Terry Semel, Bob Shaye, Ron Meyer, Bert Fields and Kevin Huvane that 'I ate lunch with Tom one day on the set - he eats from catering, which stars at that level never do - and my baby-sitter was so frozen in awe of him that she couldn't even bother to pick up my baby.

But Tom could. And did.

The rest, of course, is history: Cruise, too quick for the shoot's slow-footed security guards, bolted from the set with the infant, stored it in his compound's custom-built suspended-animation chamber for the next seven years, then eventually reintroduced the child to the world as his own on the cover of Vanity Fair. Though the proud father must spend a considerable amount of effort obscuring the girl's true parentage by dying her telltale red mane black and covering her freckles in heavy makeup, he's never regretted the once-impulsive decision to start his own "biological" family.