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While we eagerly await reports from the studio front lines about the first picketing writer to throw himself upon the hood of an executive's Lexus SUV and chant Guild-approved slogans until his grip on the vehicle's windshield wipers is pried loose by lot security, we pass along Portfolio's early story of strike-related heroism, which claims that Jon Stewart, in another show of appreciation for the "words" his writing staff provides him every day, will reach into his own pockets to try to ameliorate the suffering his Daily Show and Colbert Report compatriots during the walkout:

In a show of solidarity with his fellow scribes, the Daily Show host has told his writing staff that he will cover all their salaries for the next two weeks, according to a well-placed source. He has also vowed to do the same for writers on The Colbert Report. A Comedy Central spokesman referred my inquiry about this to Stewart's personal publicist, who has yet to respond.

Stewart's intention, says the source, is to ensure his writers will face no financial hardship should the strike, which kicked off at 3 a.m. local time, conclude within that timeframe.

Of course, even Stewart's generosity will eventually reach its limit, as he probably won't be able to bankroll his staff indefinitely—especially when Viacom corporate overlord Sumner Redstone, enraged by the host's interference in their labor war, instructs the AMPTP bargaining committee: "Even if we're ready to cut a deal, make sure this thing lasts longer than two weeks. I can't really have him killed because we're probably going to need him to keep doing his silly show during the strike, but I still want that writer-loving fucker to hurt a little."