The world may see a dreamy-eyed fantasy boyfriend, but all Jake Gyllenhaal sees when he looks into the mirror is a four-eyed, fat-waisted controller of tartar: "When I was a kid I had these huge glasses. I once went to a costume party as a Crest tooth paste tube with these huge glasses stuck on. That is how I see myself most of the time. A Crest toothpaste tube with bad eyesight." [Page Six]