Rudy Giuliani, the Mayor of 9/11, began running a radio ad in New Hampshire this week that's all about how he survived his prostrate cancer without any help from the government. "I had prostate cancer five, six years ago. My chance of surviving cancer, and thank God I was cured of it, in the United States, 82 percent. My chances of surviving prostate cancer in England, only 44 percent under socialized medicine." Of course, because Rudy Giuliani is saying those things, each sentence contains its own egregious lie. Even the first one!

Rudy was diagnosed with prostate cancer seven-and-a-half years ago. Not really sure if he just didn't remember that? We're kinda surprised he didn't say "I had cancer nine, eleven years ago."

The statistics, obviously, are both totally made-up, but you probably guessed that. And if you are even halfway paying attention to anything you might've noticed or remembered that his seven-and-a-half-year-old diagnosis happened when he was still Mayor of New York.

The Mayor is, like all city employees, part of the New York City Health Benefits Program. So his fancy cancer treatment was underwritten by hard-working joes like you and me! Here we are, struggling to make a buck, and the government wants to steal our paycheck so Mr. Fancy-pants Communist over there can keep riding around on his tiny pony purposefully getting more cancer all the time so Uncle Sam cuts him another check. Disgusting!

Rudy's Bogus Healthcare Stats [Salon]