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Google's mission? Organize the world's information. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's mission? Underpants. A very brave tipster answered our call to forward us screenshots of brain-eating Ballmer's actual Facebook profile. Which, of course, is a thousand times better, and stranger, than our fictional profile. By the way, any other powerful Facebook friends whose illusions about privacy you want to violate? Send us more screenshots. Here's Ballmer's.

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