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Are you a sporadically working WGA member with soft, gentle hands, the ability to breathe quietly, and a willingness to explore unconventional employment options to pick up some extra cash for your personal strike fund? Then head to Craigslist right now, for you can be sure that the following position won't remain unfilled for long:

Slumber Assistant Sought (P/T) Professional Must have clean record and pass background check Prior experience as a personal assistant a plus Available nightly (7 nights a week) between the hours of 9:30 pm and 11:30 pm Manicured and gentle hands

Non-smoker Non-drinker Quiet breather and no bad breath

This position is limited to 'playing with' client's hair in the evening until she falls asleep. She generally retires to her suite anytime between 9:30 and 10:30 pm. There is to be no talking or communication unless there is a direct request from the client. Schedule would consist of arriving no later than 9:30 pm, removing your shoes, seating yourself next to the client's bed, running your fingers through her hair until she falls asleep at which point you will depart the suite, dim the lights, and exit the estate quietly.

Position pays $400, weekly with no benefits. A photo of this client's hair is below. Please note, it is curly and long and requires a very gentle approach.

Please respond with photo of your hands. Also, please include the most updated copy of your resume.

No, $400 per week really isn't that much money, so maybe the gig is better suited to Fox employees looking to replace their suspended overtime pay. And those with the assistant experience mentioned in the ad have probably been asked to do stranger things for similar pay, such as comb their agent boss's hair while they're on conference calls, accepting the occasional beating with a hairbrush for not working through tangles with an acceptable level of gentleness.