Scabies Crisis At Harvard!
Harvard's Pennypacker Freshman Dorm is undergoing a scabies epidemic! Scabies—you might know it better as "mange"—is when tiny tick-like critters embed themselves in your skin and lay eggs and give you a terrible rash that you can easily spread to your friends and neighbors by, say, "sharing a bed." This weekend the disgusting little mites were found nesting in three students, so the administration rounded up all the hall's residents and handed out topical cream and demanded they shower for once. Of course there will still be weeks of itching and infestation, even after the treatment, but on the plus side the health office is maybe doing everyone's laundry for free.
Scabies Infestation at Harvard a Total Mood-Killer for Horny Frosh [IvyGate]