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They can deny it a million times over, their publicists can use the "just good friends" defense 'til they're blue in the face, but an enterprising paparazzo has finally gotten incontrovertible proof that Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are, in fact, hooking up! And if said hooking up takes its natural course, the lovers will produce an offspring with an accent thicker than a McDonald's milkshake, suitable only for giving voice to an animated bee in a Nasonex commercial.
Bonus link: If that's not enough, the two have already done the nasty in the 1992 Silver Lion award-winning film Jamón, jamón . Here's an NSFW clip featuring Penelope's language-barrier-resistant boobs!