Hoping to book a halftime act that's far less likely to attempt to sexually assault America's delicate eyeballs with a 50-foot, hellfire-ejaculating demonschlong, the NFL is reportedly close to booking The Eagles as its Super Bowl headliners. Still, we wouldn't rule out the possibility that Glenn Frey might whip it out during an abbreviated version of Desperado or Don Henley might show some nip. [SportsByBrooks]