We've been so crazed over here that we forgot to update you on the most important show ever on television, Gossip Girls. Where to start? First of all, with the observation that it's amazing how the entire arc of human conflict and resolution can be crammed into less than an hour of television. Blair and Serena were best friends, now bitter enemies. Earlier in this episode, they got in a field hockey fight which was bad for their friendship but good for fans of upskirt shots. This scene represents what should have been Battle of Salamis with Blair as Themistocles. So Blair exposes Serena as the drug addict she is in front of the virginal ears of Ivy League reps. But, as it turns out, it's Serena's younger brother who is the patient at the Ostroff Center, not Serena. Thusly what should have been her greatest triumph is actually a calamity. Also, contrary to what the episode would have you believe, Journeys Back from the Brink of Addiction are college essay GOLD. Trust me, that's how I got into school.