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With Lindsay Lohan still in threehab exile in the mountains of Utah, Paris Hilton's publicists actively selling the idea that she's turned over her life to , image-rehabilitative, begrudging acts of charity, and Britney Spears likely tied up with court-ordered child-neglect-reduction classes, Page Six officially nominates Pam Anderson as its Great White Trainwreck Hope, betting that her "increasingly wild behavior" will fill the void created by the Big Three's temporarily lower profiles.

Consider Anderson's bonafides: She was making amateur sex videos long before they were trendy, has a Spearsian appetite for white trash (though in fairness, the wife-beater models in her life make their own livings) and Lohanesque ability to party for days on end, and a pair of sons to hand off to relatives on her way out for an evening at Les Deux. But the Page Six item notes a potentially deal-breaking negative for her candidacy: a sexual relationship with Paris Hilton nightvision-doggystyler Rick Salomon, a tabloid-attracting move roughly as desperate as hiring her own histrionic drag queen to post a "LEAVE THE BADLY AGING FORMER SEX SYMBOL ALONE!" video to YouTube.