Each week, the 'New York Times' publishes wedding announcements from the newsworthy set. Why do they make you so bitter, you horrible little nitpicker? Why can't you just be happy for them? What's wrong with you? Intern Alexis breaks down who won in the Land Of Vows.

What a sad week it was for wedding announcements. A violin teacher and a "sales manager," whatever that is. Young lawyers in love. This chick is the lawyer for 1800Mattress.com, and clearly she left the last "S" off for savings because she got married in MICHIGAN. (Dearborn, but still.) These two baby shrinks are an unholy union of the outer boroughs and Jersey. Also there were a lot of average Jews. But then, lurking amongst these ordinary folks, wow: A sterling winner.

Sarah Luskin and Kenan Stern.

Congratulations to former Harvard ski team co-captains Sarah Luskin and Kenan Stern! While Kenan's eyebrows may be a bit unwieldy, he and his lady love, Sarah Luskin, racked up an impressive 24 points for both graduating cum laude from Harvard and being the children of well-heeled people, including everyone's favorite former New York City parks commissioner!

Couple married by a cantor: +1
Kenan's parents are "of Manhattan": +1
Both Sarah and Kenan graduated cum laude from Harvard: +7
They were co-captains of the Harvard ski team: +2
Sarah received a masters in teaching from Columbia: +1
Her father is a partner in Luskin, Stern & Eisler a law firm bearing his last name: +2
Kenan is the "ideal" age for a man to get married (27): +1
He is a resident in pediatrics at Children's Hospital in Boston: +2
He received a medical degree, graduating summa cum laude, from SUNY Downstate Medical Center's College of Medicine in Brooklyn: +4
Kenan's father is Henry J. Stern, current president of NYC Civic and the former commissioner of parks and recreation under Mayor Ed Koch and Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. For being the son of someone whose epic email list we used to be on and enjoyed reading occasionally: +3

Total: 24

[Photo: Sarah Merians Photography & Company]