This image was lost some time after publication.

I have a confession to make, folks. Remember that Julia Allison character, the New York-based TV commentator and magazine columnist who swept through town not long ago? Okay, yes, I'm technically gay and technically married, but the state nullified my marriage and Allison, more recently, nullified my gayness. We're totally going out. The apparent dalliances with TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington and Vimeo founder Jakob Lodwick? Just cover stories. Consider them Allison's beards. I'd post more but Julia's calling to me to reset her Wi-Fi connection. I don't have the heart to tell her I can't program my way out of a paper bag.