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The New York cover story about former Bravo contestants contained a great many shocking revelations about life after reality TV—for example, that Project Runway's first winner Jay McCarroll is currently homeless* (we blame his McDonald's Archcards dress for Kelis), that the mystery of "Where's Andrae?" has finally been solved (he wound up back at Disney Hall, waiting tables), and that Runway Season 3 standout crackpot Vincent Libretti was last seen wandering naked near a Santa Monica laundromat, holding a placard warning passers-by to the impending "Blogspots Armageddon."

(Not actually reported in the article, but probably not far from the truth.) Predictably, Bravo corporate mouthpiece Andy Cohen rushed to the defense of his many equally adored reality show stepchildren, taking particular issue with the way New York's reporter scoffed at the network's policy of banning any contestant-on-contestant diddling:

I thought the article was pretty good and fair... Until I got to what I think is a slam regarding the fact that nobody on these Bravo competish shows are allowed to sex it up together.

Whaaaayt??

I THINK [New York writer Jennifer] Senior was dissing this??? Or was making a sly comment about it? I don't know, but I feel pretty great that under our watch, you ain't allowed to "do it" with another contestant. We're not the "Real World" and we're not checking for STD's and we're just not in that game. If Tabs gets herpes from another hairstylist that I helped cast, how am I gonna sleep at night!? Design all the dresses you want, but screw on your own clock.

We must commend Andy's attempts at preserving the virtue of his extended reality family. If, as he once hinted, he were to accidentally walk in on a gay Runway fourgy, or fail to prevent Shear Genius's Tabatha from taking a wrong turn onto Valtrex Blvd. after one red-wine-fueled night of sensual experimentation with Dr. Boogie, by his own admission, the guilt would keep him from sleeping. It's precisely the kind of high-stress scenario that might send a overtaxed reality exec running for the nearest bottle of Nuit Blanche.

* UPDATE: According to Reality Blurred, Jay McCarroll was just kidding when he claimed he was homeless.