Every week, when the Times devotes a section to informing you that some people who are richer and smarter and just all around better than you are have found their soulmate lifepartners, Intern Alexis surveys the damage and tallies up the totals. Also, in case you were wondering? No, you'll never find anyone. Anyone good enough, at least.

Though this week brought us a groom with eight world records in ultramountaineering, a Ford model, a Purple Heart award-ee, a daughter of the former mayor of Scardsale, and a former Blues Clues writer, the Altarcations crown went to Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon, two well-bred lawyers saving the world one Turkic-speaking Uighur at a time.

Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon: 26 points

  • Alison is the director of pro bono services at the New York Legal Assistance Group a nonprofit organization in New York that provides legal services in civil cases to low-income people; Wells is a lawyer on staff of the Center for Constitutional Rights and is working on its Guantanamo Global Justice Initiative, challenging the detention of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay by the United States. For both being super-duper do-gooding lawyers: +7
  • Alison graduated magna cum laude from GW: +2
  • She received a law degree from NYU: +1
  • Her father is the president of Sclater Partners Architects in Seattle, a company bearing his last name: +2
  • Jonathan Wells Dixon goes by his preppy middle name: +3
  • Wells wears a polka-dotted bow-tie in his photo: +1
  • He graduated cum laude from Johns Hopkins: +1
  • He received a law degree from University of Colorado, where he was the editor in chief of the law review: +2
  • His parents are "of West Hartford, CT": +1
  • His mother is on the board of the Noah Webster House and the West Hartford Historical Society: +2
  • His father is the chief of rheumatology at Hartford Hospital where he serves on the board's executive committee: +1
  • They started dating while both assigned to help seven Uighurs, Turkic-speaking Muslims from western China, who were being held at Guantanamo Bay. "That case made me realize he was the person I wanted to spend my life with," Alison said. "We both felt so passionately... as lawyers, we have the ability to do something about it." For their earnestness: +4
  • Bride is keeping her name: -1