Didja Hear? Michelle Slatalla's House Is Worth A Lot Of Money!
New York Times columnist in charge of spending way, way too much time online and then writing about it Michelle Slatalla has moved on from her old habit of stalking her children online because she's found a new way to use the web to feed her OCD: Keeping day-to-day, moment-to-moment tabs on the enormous value of her home.
But is it going up? Or down? Either my house lost $94,248 in value over the last two months, or else it gained $32,799 in the last 30 days. I can't tell, because I get conflicting information from online sites — like Eppraisal.com, Realestateabc.com and Homegain.com — where I find myself obsessively comparing numbers every day or so. O.K., every hour or so (or about as often as I used to get on the scale when I was in high school). But if I didn't keep up with the real estate sites, then I wouldn't know that earlier this summer a center-hall colonial a block away from me sold for $2,439,500 despite its outdated kitchen (thank you, Cyberhomes.com). Or that most of my neighbors are juggling payments on big adjustable-rate mortgages just like mine (thank you Propertyshark.com). Or that the bathroom I recently remodeled may have increased my property value by $33,490 (thank you, Zillow.com).
Fuck you, Michelle Slatalla.
