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Last week's wall-to-wall coverage of Lindsay Lohan's spectacular transformation from mostly harmless, self-destructive fun-time girl to alleged hostage-taking, assistant-stalking Denali drag-racer provided ample opportunities for various experts to weigh in on the degree of legal and career fuckage she may have suffered as a result of her latest DUI arrest. Today, however, Good Morning America largely eschews the opinions of so-called professionals in favor of those whose area of expertise is limited to a single pursuit: mindlessly consuming anything to which Lohan's name is attached. GMA's nonscientific, random sampling of I Know Who Killed Me ticket-buyers revealed a mixture of disappointment in the current product tempered by a delusional faith in the actress's abilities:

"There is so much controversy about Lindsay Lohan, I just want to see if her abilities are still intact," one moviegoer said. [...]

"I hope she can pull herself together," another fan said. "This movie wasn't that great and I hope in the future she might come out with better movies."

With these fans' thoughts on the record, the GMA crew then turned to two of the most accomplished child-actor fuck-ups of the 1980s for their perspective on the Lohan flameout:

It's a possible fate 1980s teen stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim know firsthand. Their movie roles dried up as they struggled with addiction.

"I see a version of me that is female and younger, and I just hope that she catches it now," Haim said.

Feldman said the actress should focus on her health.

"All that should be on Lindsay's shoulders or anybody right at this moment is, 'I need to get myself healthy,'" he said.

The blueprint for Lohan's survival, both personal and professional, has been clearly drawn by the Two Coreys: Take a decade or two off from the Hollywood grind to get one's shit together, then pray that basic cable network looking for some easy publicity will set her up with a reality show, perhaps one where Lohan invites her onetime SUV-bound prisoners to crash on her couch as a camera crew documents their lightly scripted attempts at healing the wounds of the past.