This image was lost some time after publication.

· The Last Days of Lindsay Lohan: Caught coke-panted. The Beaker connection. Putting things together. A poetry response. FuckageWatch: Parts 1 and 2. A case of mistaken coke-pants identity. The I Know Who Killed Me screening report. Inching closer to an answer. Google-Mapping the chase. The Denali Three, Hollywood's hottest hostage trio, are considering their legal options.
· Britney Spears is an enemy of fashion.
·Steve McPherson wishes NBC rock-star Ben Silverman would "be a man," and his pet sitcomfomercial's producers defend Cavemen.
· Nicole Richie is living a nightmare, and we're finding it hard to care.
· TV Paula Abdul and real Paula Abdul can't seem to agree on whether or not she was fired.
· Tom Cruise really knows how to throw a great welcome to the neighborhood party.
· Paramount's big, happy family.
· Drew Carey accepts a job at The Price is Right, and is visited that night by a terrifying lesbian specter.
· Ben Affleck plays a convincing ear of corn.
· And introducing Merry Miller as Completely Incompetent Junket Reporter.
· Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, crash it, change it, CAA it.
· Kindly Feed the Bears.