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We were genuinely curious to see how Paramount handled the tricky matter of composing the boast-copy for its obligatory "Hey, look at how much money we made!" spread in the trades, as Transformers' box office "record,"* while more than impressive enough to earn emperor Brad Grey's subjects a celebratory day off, does require the use of that unwieldy "non-sequel" qualifier.

In the end, however, Paramount probably made the right choice for the slogan they've splashed across two full pages in Variety today, as SIXTH BIGGEST OPENING WEEK OF ALL TIME (FUCKING SEQUELS!*) might have displayed too much of self-deprecating touch to work: no one enters a dick-measuring contest they know they're going to lose just so they can joke, "Heh. It would look much bigger if all those guys with the huge cocks stayed home."

[*Don't get us wrong. $155 million is still technically a "shitload" of money. It's just not Spider-Man or Pirates money. Or even bad Star Wars prequel money.]

[Ad via Digital Variety]