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· Slate's fake action movie one-liner contest has plenty of inspired entries, but it's hard to beat the minimalist masterpiece that is "Welcome to America, douche bag."
· The next time your dinner party host insists that you not lend a hand with the dishes, you might want to take a moment to ask yourselves when the last time you saw their wife and kids was.
· We don't know about you, but we couldn't be more jazzed for Live Earth: the environmental-awareness-raising rock n' roll phenomenon nobody wants!
· And with one annoying, puzzle-filled website, we have officially ceased to care about J.J. Abrams' mysterious new project.