Well, you can stop overwhelming our inbox with pictures of straight male publishing "hotties." This is the definitive vote. Finally, we will learn who the least mangy and mentally ill mutt at the BARC shelter is for sure. Ladies and gentlemen, please choose the hottest straight man in publishing!
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1. Aaron S: This is definitely an improvement on the previous photo but I notice that the book is placed strategically to prevent us from seeing his extra hand: the one that is giving him a permananent pat on the back. [gawker.com] So how can we be sure that was just a bad picture and he isn't a smarmy bastard? Mitigating factor: I appreciate his dorky giddiness over the opening of the box of hot-off-the-press books.
2. Chris P-L: Jezebel has a warning against guys named Chris. [jezebel.com] However, I'm more concerned about that twee last name. (Note: Add Parris-Lamb to the list of stupid yuppy children's names: [gawker.com] ). Mitigating factor: the Red Sox shirt indicates a person who is akin to being a Cubs fan.
3. Luke J: I object to the use of a child as an accessory. He's screaming: "Look at me I'm a hipster dad!" Not to mention: "Look at me I have an ex-wife!" He also suffers from the same syndrome as Chris G. in round 1: [gawker.com] Category: Conventional expressions of resistance to convention. Subset: aggressive earthiness. Mitigating factor: He's cute.
My bachelor selection would depend on their score on my trix-are-for-kids publishing job insider scale
If any of these guys have a positive score then they don't deserve this humiliation. They don't deserve it regardless but it's not in my nature to think that way.
Aaron - too young to be "hot," more like "adorable." As in "oh, isn't my cousin adorable?" Not, "Oh, look at that adorable piece of ass."
Chris - FYI, hot guys have more definition in their arms, than in their Adam's Apples. Eww.
Luke - Trying way too hard to be "cute," obviously.
With the exception of this Janklow person, who is hot by most objective standard, the other two are not even borderline cute. Some of the nominees were actually far cuter. Is this thing being gamed by well-meaning friends or pitying well-wishers?
