Lisa K. Friedman totally ruined her husband's vacation by breaking her foot, that bitch. But we'd rather have every bone in our body snapped than be married to this asshole for one single second. Witness: "It is not relevant to the complaint that neither the Plaintiff nor the Defendant immediately knew that the foot was broken, despite the Plaintiff's report that she heard a "snapping sound" when she stumbled and fell. The Defendant dismissed this evidence of a broken bone, contending, ridiculously, that it must have been the strap on her sandal snapping. The Plaintiff did not feel the bone snap because she was consumed at the time by a white light of pain, so intense that it blotted out all other physical sensation." Is anyone else already convinced that this complaint should be an actual divorce filing, not a supposedly humorous Modern Love column? It gets so. much. worse.

The Defendant breached the Contract by behaving in a nasty and demeaning way toward the Plaintiff in the immediate aftermath of the accident, including but not limited to terse comments, ridicule, eye rolling and ignoring of the injured Plaintiff. He seemed, at one point, to be "almost having a stroke" (the Plaintiff's characterization) as he contemplated the myriad disappointments associated with the untimely demise of their dream vacation. And even though the Defendant seemed to sense that his behavior toward the Plaintiff was truly awful and unforgivable, he simply couldn't control it due to the mounting displeasure and inconvenience caused by her untimely stumble. This inconvenience included but was not limited to the Defendant's resentment-filled two-hour search for crutches for the Plaintiff, which left him mute with frustration — for a time he was unwilling to communicate verbally with the Plaintiff in any manner about any subject.

LADY! GET A MOTHERFUCKING DIVORCE!