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Even though the city's Apple and Cingular stores will be overrun today by loyal assistants authorized to murder rival line-waiters if it means their bosses will be able to show off an iPhone over tonight's power-dinners, the miracle device's incompatibility with the corporate e-mail servers that power the industry's longtime status symbol/technological shackle, the Blackberry, means that fad-horny Hollywood will have no choice to adopt the douchebag affectation popularized by lightly fictionalized Entourage agent Ari Gold. Reports Variety:

So what's a trend-addicted, style-focused bizzer to do? Carry two devices.

"I'll make my booty calls with the iPhone and get reamed in the ass by my boss on my Blackberry," cracked one senior studio exec.

In addition to the many hilarious complications that may arise when the simultaneous buzzing of both phones causes an exec or agent to mix up his booty-calling and ass-reaming devices, accidentally blurring the line between recreational and professional sodomy, carrying an extra device will give quick-triggered bosses a second projectile to fire at an incompetent underling. If a poorly aimed Blackberry crashes harmlessly off the wall, the more aerodynamically designed iPhone will certainly find its target, and its beautiful, scratch-resistant screen is a cinch to wipe clean of an assistant's blood, making it the perfect weapon for the rage-prone man-on-the-go.