Red alert for the Lower East Side! Vegan electronica gnome Moby just finished refurbishing the Central Park West apartment he bought two years ago. But now he's sent out an email to his friends about moving back downtown—according to our source, the Mobester is wracked by class guilt and "can't deal with living in a nicer place."

hi, as some of you might know, 2 years ago i bought an apartment on central park west at 90th. it still stands as the most interesting and unique apartment i've ever seen in new york city, but i've decided to move back downtown and am now going to put the apartment back on the market.

Moby's set up a website for his soon-to-be-ex apartment, the El Dorado Penthouse, which only confirmed our suspicions that the man is an idiot. Dude, get over it. You're rich. Now enjoy your 4 floors and 5 terraces. And, please, stay above 14th street!