After an interview in which he came across less like ER's resident hearththrob and more like your senile, Scotch-scented great uncle, John Stamos' promotional tour of Australia continued the following day with a stop at popular local talk show Mornings with Kerri-Anne. It would have been a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate how the jet-lag and latté-infused demons that had been possessing the actor had since been conquered. Instead, the situation quickly devolved from bad to worse, with a handsy Uncle Jesse dismissing a local critic of being in possession of a dreaded "small penis," then placing a glass sculpture over his own presumably ample endowment, and capping off the visit by clutching an exasperated Kerri-Anne in a bear hug to reminisce about the deaths of Princess Diana, Elvis, and his own career, in that order. As they say in Australia: Enjoy.