This image was lost some time after publication.


Somehow missing an obvious opportunity to invoke the burning of Rome in their exclusive on NBC's cancellation of the upcoming Paris Hilton's One Million Dollar Jailhouse Revelations Spectacular, TMZ declares the project "dead" based on reports relayed from the microscopic spies they injected into the heiress's bloodstream on the eve of her incarceration. The site claims that "no reason was given" for the abrupt move, but we suspect that the sudden appearance of a Fox helicopter dumping $25 million onto the property of Hilton's West Hollywood home figured in NBC's laudable decision to choose journalistic ethics over Nielsen-friendly sensationalism.

UPDATE: Are these people heartless monsters? NBC says there was nothing to cancel, because "we never committed to this," a disavowal of their relationship that is sure to further wound the dangerously fragile Hilton.

UPDATE: Do you find yourself wishing that the ongoing interview fiasco could become even more confusing and suffused with pointless drama? Today's your lucky day!