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Bravo's Andy Cohen—by far our favorite of all TV programming executives who also happen to maintain a dishy, deeply personal daily journal on their company's website—minces no words whenever airing out his show business grievances on his blog. (We're reminded of the time he issued a Gay Fatwa against songbird Jessica Simpson, about whom he wrote, "I can't stand the sight of her stupid blank face.") Today, Cohen has equally harsh words for a C-list celebrity duo gearing up to dazzle Broadway audiences with some precision jazz-hand choreography:

According to a big ad in the Times, there's a "Power Couple" joining the cast of "Chicago". How exciting that Melanie and Antonio are joining the show, huh! Uh oh, it's actually Lisa and Harry.

And by Lisa and Harry, I am talking Rinna and Hamlin. In what continent are they a power couple? Perhaps they are a power couple in Japan, where hideous, butchered, fleshy lips might be considered a Western Delicacy. [...]

Look up 'chemistry' in a global entertainment dictionary. There WON'T be a picture of Harry Hamlin and Lisa RinLips.

Cohen's NBC Universal corporate bosses needn't worry about the implications of publishing his at-times brutal critiques of well-known and beloved entertainers. For one thing, he's highly selective when it comes to dispensing his trademark cattiness—you'll hear nothing but gushing over the network's own talent, such as Shear Genius host Jaclyn Smith, who hasn't had a facial expression since the late 1990s. And should the former Dancing with the Stars hopefuls take his words too closely to heart, Cohen can always smooth over any perceived tensions by taking Lisa RinLips aside and tenderly explaining that when he described her face as "hideous, butchered, and fleshy," he meant it in the most complimentary possible sense.