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We feel it is our duty to pay semi-regular visits to Andy Cohen—cutthroat Bravo TV executive by day, blogger extraordinaire by night—but after a year of following his name-droppy exploits, we reluctantly have to admit that we're still not entirely sure what his job entails. (It's almost definitely something reality-TV-related.) In today's installment, Andy practically does backflips over Top Chef Day in New York City ("Literally. We have a certificate from the Mayor or Deputy Mayor or someone saying it is so!"), conjuring nightmarish images of a sparsely attended Top Chef parade down Fifth Avenue, featuring Godzilla-sized Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio floats terrorizing children as far away as New Jersey. It's not long, however, before Andy shifts gears to topics far closer to his heart—dermatology and the gym:

Like many of you, I find it hard to sleep on Top Chef Day in NYC. I'm like a kid on Christmas morning, so I started the day early at Equinox.

I have something of a black eye because of a sun freckle I had lasered off at my dermo, which again crosses the bounds of TMI. So four people at the gym asked me how I got the black eye. I knew two of the questioners and two were complete strangers. I told the two amigos that my boss hit me. I told the two strangers that it was a long and upsetting story.

I think it is dumb to ask someone you don't know how they got a black eye. "My lover hits me." Is that what you want to hear? Here's another dumb question: "are your parents alive?" What might the payoff be to that question if the answer is "no"?

Kudos to Andy for proudly braving the withering gaze of the Equinox crowd with his "sun-freckle-removal injury" on full display. A lesser blogging TV executive might have wrapped themselves in a babuskha and giant pair of Jackie O.'s, avoiding all eye contact as they silently mounted an elliptical crosstrainer for their morning's cardio regimen.