The French Bulldog
Restaurants, like poker players, have certain tells, minute signifiers that betray a whole constellation of facts. Restaurant Tells is your decoding ring to the restaurant scene.
As far as restaurant mascots go, the general rule of thumb is that if there is one, you'd be wise to go elsewhere. A mascot connotes a kind of corny emphasis on gimmicky presentation that often belies a underwhelming menu. Think of Long John Silver of Long John Silver's, for example or KFC's Colonel Saunders or that white dude from Cracker Barrel. Does the French Laundry have Blanche the Happy Kenmore? Does Le Bernadin have Bernie the Jolly Gaul? God no. But this structure of sign and signifier is completely disrupted when the mascot is a French Bulldog. The bouledogue française ranks as one of the most popular mascots of New York City restaurants, and surprisingly of some really good restaurants.
Strangely, the breed dominance is concentrated in a few blocks of the Lower East Side. The cute bat-eared canine can be seen above Chibi's Bar in NoLIta, Le Zucco on Orchard and Frankie's Spuntino in both Brooklyn and on Clinton Street. Why there? Why that? Why now? How much does that doggy in the window mean?
It seems the French Bulldog brings to mind a whole host of characteristics that can aptly be used to describe the ideal LES eatery: small, unassuming, kinda ugly, kinda cute, pacific. The French bulldog, bred from the cull of the runtiest English Bulldogs, were brought to France by Normand lacemakers in the mid-1800s. The breed is famously small (so portable!) and with a gentle, happy-go-lucky disposition. Though they vary in cuisine—Chibi's Bar is for the most part a sake bar with a few well-chosen appetizers, Frankie's Spuntino is famously delicious Italian and Le Zucco is subtitled The French Diner—the restaurants, like their mascots, are all diminutive spaces with an emphasis on informal fare. They privilege comfort over flash and quality over quantity.
Even the firmest Cartesian must admit, Merlin the mascot of Frankie's Spuntino, Brutus the mascot of Le Zucco and Chibi's of Chibi's Bar have somehow imparted their soul to that of their establishment. On the other hand, it might just be that the kind of people who own French Bulldogs make good little restaurants. Or perhaps their proprietors have stumbled upon the ultimate truth that no one can hate a puppy except someone really mean.