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Weary as we are to rouse ourselves out of our long weekend torpor, the call of a scenemonkey starlet's DUI arrest beckons: At approximately 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning, beloved screen icon and local nightlife stall fixture Lindsay Lohan once again found herself involved in a suspicious accident, having crashed her seemingly death proof convertible into a Sunset Blvd. sidewalk. Then, according to a 911 call from an eyewitness, she peeled away from the scene. After inspecting the tires and grille for tell-tale hair, tooth, and camera fragments, police quickly ruled out vehicular paparazzicide, but a search of the car turned up a "'usable amount' of a drug tentatively identified as cocaine." The Georgia Rule star, who only recently endured a supererogatory stay at a local rehab facility, was then arrested at Century City Hospital (where she was being treated for minor injuries), for "investigation of misdemeanor driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs." Beleaguered flack Leslie Sloane Zelnik has yet to speak out on the matter, but is undoubtedly at this very moment holed up in an office, blinds drawn and surrounded by a foothill of crumpled paper as she attempts to compose the Statement of Her Career: a 44-word missive squarely placing the blame for her client's pre-21st-birthday rock-bottom moment on the media's nefarious shoulders.