Posh Explains The Spice Girls' Make Up Don'ts
Please don't read this as (another) a cry for help but guess what: we read the entirety of That Extra Half An Inch, Victoria Beckham's guide to style, and, well ... it's sort of good! Say what you will about the skinny, fembotty-looking bitch, she and her ghostwriter know their stuff. We're totally going to, for example, sew cool vintage buttons onto our H&M shirts to make them look more expensive from here on out. But we came here not to praise but to bury, of course, and so here is a rundown of Victoria Beckham's idiosyncratic and private grooming rituals, plus an explanation of why the Spice Girls always looked so busted.
When I studied dance as a teenager, it was drummed into me right from the start that you have to have nice fingernails and nice hair, and I think it's just ingrained in me now. I'm always really strict with myself about grooming. But that doesn't mean I haven't occasionally gone very wrong. When I look back at photographs of the Spice Girls I see a lot of make-up mistakes, but I think many pop stars suffer from the same problem: because you've been working so hard and are getting so tired you just plaster on the make-up to cover the signs of stress and tiredness. So your make-up gets thicker and thicker and your hair gets bigger and bigger and you just end up looking like the creature from the Black Lagoon. Putting too much make-up on—whoever or whatever you are—really is the worst mistake you can make. So make sure you never apply it in a bad light; find somewhere that mimics natural sunlight.
When I'm home I tend to do my nails and whatever else I fancy after the kids have gone to bed and David's away playing football, as the rest of the time I want to be with my family. And there are some beauty treatments that you should definitely only do when you're on your own. For example, I'm a great believer in well-kept feet and hands. So one night I decided to try out this lovely foot and hand treatment from Bliss. I scrubbed my feet properly, put the cream on them and on my hands, and then put on these little gloves they provide to let the cream soak in properly. So there I was, in my dressing gown, watching TV with what looked like oven mitts on my hands and my feet, all creamed up and drinking a cup of tea, and I must have looked completely ridiculous. So I'd recommend saving that one for when your man is away!
Fake tanning is another thing to do when you're on your own. When David's away, I'll apply the St. Tropez. Put it on at night before going to bed.
