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Having ultimately decided that inviting Generalissimo Hugo's Bolivian Marching Powder™ to sponsor alleged wardrobe-pirate Lindsay Lohan's 21st birthday bash [Ed.note—They grow up so fast after multiple, suspicious dehydration episodes, don't they?] in Vegas might draw unwanted attention from federal drug enforcement agencies, her event planners have decided to go with the second-most logical patron for a recent rehab graduate and noted AA groupie's coming-of-legal-drinking-age party: a mid-range vodka company. Reports today's Gatecrasher column:

Alcoholics Anonymous member Lindsay Lohan has lined up Svedka vodka to sponsor her 21st birthday blowout in Las Vegas, a rep for the brand confirmed to us yesterday.

It's part of a deal that could net the star up to seven figures for the July 2-3 celebration. That's even before the Wonderland rehab center she attended gives her a refund. [...]

Her rep said, "I am unaware of who is sponsoring Lindsay's birthday, as I am not the one planning it."

But Lohan's lawyer Mike Heller confirmed the vodka deal. "This should be one of the best parties ever," he told Us Weekly.

Once one remembers that Lohan had the impressive self-possession to declare herself "[not] necessarily an addict," it's impossible not to abandon one's misgivings about the party's sponsorship and share her lawyer's enthusiasm. And her embattled rep—who sounded vaguely annoyed at having to field a question about the event—should be relieved that her client is finally of drinking age; when's she's called for a comment about the Svedka-enabled overindulgence that contributed to Lohan's spending the waning moments of her special day hooked up to an emergency-room IV, she can merely respond, "She's 21 now. Drinking herself into a coma is perfectly legal," to the inevitable tabloid inquiries.

[Photo: Getty Images]