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While finding an anonymous tip about Paris Hilton in our inbox is certainly not an uncommon experience, it's rare that we receive one composed entirely in a foreign tongue, from a self-professed "guardian angel" who signs their correspondence, "The french." We're suckers for some Euro-style cloak and dagger, however, so we put our best minds to work translating the contents of the cryptic message:

Paris Whitney Hilton's Guardian Angel

I am an anonymous tipster.

Here's an amazing scoop: Paris Whitney Hilton has a guardian angel who will liberate her from her 45/23 days in prison and at the same time offer her two ways out that are still honorable for the governor of California and the law.

She will have to choose between prison or the creation of an international organization dedicated to fighting AIDS.

The rest is after the jump, as is the original e-mail. Feel free to correct our humble attempt at translation—we're a little rusty, and could easily be confusing the French word for "AIDS" for the one that means "Hyde."

The exchange: Her freedom for a global offensive against AIDS, a unique concept (combatting and researching an AIDS cure)

She'll also be named a goodwill ambassador for creating this foundation (combatting and researching an AIDS cure) for the 60 million suffering from AIDS.

With a coalition of 25 princesses from around the world.

Also, the creation of a TV network dedicated to the prevention of combatting AIDS. This new network will be broadcast by satellite 24/7, in multiple languages, addressing boys' and girls' various diseases

With short films and animated programs for children.

PS This message is totally anonymous, thanks

Sincerely,

CODE (JED1999)

The french

The original message from "The french":

L'ange gardien, de Paris Whitney Hilton Je suis un informateur anonyme

Voici en Scoop incroyable Paris Whitney Hilton à un ange gardien qui va la libéré des 45 / 23 ! Jours de prison et par la même occasion offrir 2 portes de sorti très honorables pour le gouverneur de Californie et la justice de Californie.

Elle devra choisir entre la prison ou la création d'une fondation mondiale pour la lutte contre le SIDA

Le projet de troc, sa liberté pour la lutte mondiale contre le sida un concept unique au monde (lutte et recherche contre le sida sur le terrain)

Elle sera également nommée ambassadrice de bonne volonté pour la création de sa fondation (pour la lutte et recherche contre le SIDA sur le terrain) pour 60 Millions de malade du SIDA

Avec une coalition de 25 Princesses de différents pays du monde.

Egalement la création d'une chaine de télévision pour la prévention de lutte contre le SIDA cette nouvelle chaine de télévision sera diffusée par satellite 24h sur 24h et en plusieurs langues qui traite sur les différentes maladies des filles et des garçons

Ainsi que des films et des dessins animé pour la jeunesse.

PS) se message est totalement anonyme, Merci

Salutation,

CODE (JED1999)

The french

UPDATE: A reader writes:

First of all, good job on that translation from "the french." The spelling and grammar in the original are just bad enough to suggest that the message was penned by a real French person, if not by Google translator. Leaving that aside, however, I find it curious that you did not translate what seems to me the most crucial phrase: "sur le terrain." The French want Paris to conduct research and fight AIDS "in the field." I rather think it's like the research on those Kenyan prostitutes who have scores of customers a day and yet have not gotten infected. In other words, the French want Paris to fuck her way across the African continent! They want her, like Walt Whitman, to contain multitudes. The African incontinent! Quel scandale! (I use all those exclamation points only because the French are so fond of them.)