Since the Catholic Church began offloading some of its properties, the city's been in need of an weird religious organization with a shady past to fulfill the role of Real Estate overlord. Happily, we found a replacement in Lev Leviev's Africa-Israel corporation. The Israeli Lubavitcher diamond dealer has been doing a little real estate retail therapy—grabbing the Times building for $525 billion and 50 per cent of the Apthorp apartment on the U.W.S. According to today's Post, Leviev just bought Ian Schrager's One Madison Avenue, a building the also-a-little meshuga Schrager had planned to be another "high-end hotel, more like a private club." But now those plans are kaput. Guess New York can make do without another Gramercy. But what will rise in its stead? We're guessing something really scary and dangerous, like a tower of diamonds with rockets on the parapets and when you go by the gargoyles scream at you and shoot diamonds from their eyes. —Josh

SALE MAY SINK SCHRAGER'S HOTEL DREAM [NYP]