You Didn't Really Think Paris Was Going To Do The Whole 45, Did You?
Unable to come to grips with the idea that it might lose its favorite local socialite for the full 45 days of her recently handed down prison sentence, the LAT embarked on a quest to find someone willing to envelop it in a warm hug, gently stroke its hair, and reassure it that those scary men don't really mean all their nasty talk about Paris Hilton serving every last minute of her hard time:
Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore said Hilton's sentence could be cut nearly in half by state law allowing for credit for time served for good behavior. In addition, he said, overcrowding in the jail system could further reduce the time she spends in custody.
Overcrowding has been a major issue in the L.A. County jail system, with some inmates — even violent ones — serving as little as 10% of their sentences. (If that standard was applied to Hilton, she would serve less than a week in jail.)
Actress Michelle Rodriguez, who starred on "Lost," was sentenced to 60 days in jail for a probation violation last year but ended up serving less than a day in jail.
"She will be treated like any other inmate who's classified as a low-level security risk," Whitmore said. "There are a series of issues that will come into play here, including her criminal history, the nature of the offense and the population of the facility."
Using those and other factors "the decision will be made as she is booked into the jail," Whitmore said. "We do this with every single inmate."
Given that the final decision on Hilton's fate won't come until she's being booked, we'd recommend that she stay on her best behavior when she arrives at the facility; even if she's deathly afraid that she's going to spend the entire 45 days shackled to a lesbian (not even a cute one she can make out with a little!) who threatens to drown her in their shared, stainless steel commode if she tries to withhold the best Nicole Richie gossip, the heiress-in-chains shouldn't attempt anything stupid in desperation, like try to smuggle in the designer shanks and shivs her mom bought her as a going-away gift.
