Restaurateurs take note! Come Sunday, the voice of Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni—that soufflé of mystery!—will gain greater exposure beyond whatever radio station plays the Times stuff. (We don't think our AM band goes down that low, so we wouldn't know.) Now the former Rome political correspondent has given his Stentorian voice to a slideshow that accompanies his piece about Apuglia. As the National Center for Voice and Speech writes, "voices are as distinctive as our faces—no two are exactly alike." So what should concerned chefs listen for if they want to ID the Bruni?

Over the clatter of flatware and the barking of the expediter, it might be difficult to pick out one voice in a crowded dining room. But Bruni's voice is unique in a couple of ways. First of all, it's quite often biphonic—that is, there are often two sources of sound. The man whistles when he speaks, as air passes through both his vocal folds and teeth. In words like "Times, special, that's," the overtones of a whistle can be heard. When he says, "a gnarled grove of olive trees that date back more than a century behind a long stone wall"—a phrase he is likely to repeat in your restaurant!—listen for the whistle in "century" and "stone." Bruni's register is similar to that of film critic A.O. Scott, though far less sing-song in speech. His words come in little well-crafted clots that are often strung together with a drawn-out, aspirated "um" or "ah."

Would this information have saved Max Brenner, if Max Brenner existed, or Jeffrey Chodorow ,if he wasn't a crazy fuck, from recent savagings by Bruni? Probably not. But it does offer us a glimpse at the veiled and mercurial Bruni—and you know what? He sounds, at least, like a pretty nice guy. —Josh

Hear Frank Bruni Here