While Extra seems to have been first to e-press with the story of David Hasselhoff's self-produced "cry for help" documentary, we've been informed that the actual video of the actor's darkest moments is exclusive to rival Entertainment Tonight, which has quickly posted the above teaser-trailer to alleviate any confusion over the footage with which ET will ruin millions of family dinners. We can only hope that this ugly custody dispute doesn't hamper the troubled Hasselhoff's attempts at putting his life back together through the redemptive power of syndicated TV programming.

UPDATE: Literally seconds after we hit "publish" on this post, we're hearing that no one has the exclusive. Excuse us while we navigate over to The Insider's web presence and throw a brick through our computer screen rather than spend another minute sorting out this clusterfuck.

Previously: David Hasselhoff's Darkest Moments: Only on Extra! [Defamer]