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The L.E.S. isn't cool enough for Moby anymore—he's headed uptown, to the Upper West Side. Wait, maybe the problem is that Moby isn't cool enough for the L.E.S. anymore. Or... rich enough? Or shopping-oriented enough. Or something.

Well, for the most part it's an honest-to-goodness residential neighborhood. Downtown is still interesting, but living there had become a bit too much like living in a shopping mall for rich Europeans. [As opposed to living in a neighborhood that actually boasts a real shopping mall for rich Europeans!] It might sound odd, but I'd rather be in danger of getting run over by someone pushing a stroller or walking a dog than someone seeing how many Calypso stores they can visit in an afternoon.

Also: "Friday and Saturday nights downtown have become like spring break meets Mardi Gras on steroids. When and if I do go out, it tends to be on Sundays and Mondays." Underage girls still awed enough by a techno has-been's wealth and poses to put up with pomposity and general tininess, take heed!

Here He Is Now, Going To The Upper West Side [NYO]