Monday Morning Box Office: Maybe Rose McGowan Needed Two Machine-Gun Legs?
Your post-Easter hangover is so severe you think you can actually hear the half-eaten package of Peeps on your desk going quickly stale. Distract yourself from the unpleasant sound of hardening marshmallows with the box office numbers:
4. Grindhouse—$11.591 million
We generally reserve the above-the-jump slot for the weekend's first place finisher, but Grindhouse's shocking—shocking!—and disappointing™ opening (really, the situation requires that double cliché to communicate its unexpected bombiness) merits the lead slot on this Monday morning. What happened? A movie that features Rose McGowan as a one-legged go-go dancer with a combination machine gun/grenade launcher prosthesis should have been good for $15 million on its own. Perhaps the buzz was hurt somewhat when word got out that Tarantino's contribution to the double-bill opens with a unbroken, twenty-minute shot of Sydney Tamiia Poitier's naked feet perched on the dashboard of a moving car, an homage to 1978 cult film Barefoot Bunny's Road Trip to the Valley of the Toe-Suckers so obscure that audiences were sure that the rest of the movie's too-clever references would alienate them.
1. Blades of Glory-$23 million
Following a second straight weekend atop the box office, exuberant DreamWorks spokesman Marvin Levy briefly lost himself in the heady glow of victory, saying, "We are gliding along nicely," but unable to refrain from stretching the figure skating conceit, continued, "We feel like a spandex-clad,—yet totally heterosexual—men's doubles partner being held gracefully aloft by Will Ferrell's big, strong arms, giddy from the anticipation of feeling his hot breath on the backs of our necks as he safely guides us back down to the ice's surface."
2. Meet the Robinsons—$17.004 million
3. Are We Done Yet?—$13 million
Onetime gangta Ice Cube is this close to voicing a wisecracking robot in Meet the Robinsons 2.
5. The Reaping—$10.080 million
The Great Burbank Fire's proximity to the Warner Bros. lot seems to have been a sign from above foretelling the box office Armageddon about to be visited upon Hilary Swank's latest offering.
