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Having accomplished virtually all of her Hollywood dreams by the tender age of 25 (millions-selling records, writing, directing, producing, and starring in an Anson Mount vehicle, an annulment, an ill-advised marriage to a sporadically employed background dancer from Fresno, having two beautiful babies to neglect by heading out to the hottest clubs to have her vagina photographed, a tabloid-mandated trip to rehab, and a divorce), a rudderless Britney Spears recently turned to the only people who truly have her best interests in mind to help plot the course of her post-Promises life: the caring folks at the William Morris agency. Reports The TMZ:

We're told Spears met with a number of agents about mapping her post-partum career. Spies tell us "she was all over the place." She wants to do this and that, but she had no focus, no plan. After she left, the agents were shaking their heads.

After a frustrating, unproductive hour of interrupting each of her agents' questions about what she'd like to do next with comments like, "You know who's a pretty lady? That Charlize Theron!" and, "Hey, guys? I'm going to go buy a labradoodle this afternoon for my babies! You think they'll take good care of him? The one who's name I can't remember ate his turtle, Gus, y'all. Sad face! Let's make a movie!" her career-steerage committee unanimously decided that the best thing for Spears would be to cultivate a new and more severe drug habit, then use the resulting 28 days of "me time" to think a little more seriously about her show business ambitions.

[Photo: AP]