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· Hollywood DisasterWatch: Burbank Burns! Our citizen photojournalists on the ground offer us multiple perspectives of the Fire That Didn't Affect Hollywood Much, Put Still Looks Pretty Damn Scary.
· Hollywood DisasterWatch 2: The E! Bomb Scare: Ryan Seacrest flE!es! The E!vacuees. A time for HE!aling.
· We are happy to pass along the rumor that George Clooney was behind the I Heart Huckabees videos, and he's happy to tell us we're wrong. (And to offer $1 million for someone's head in a bag. We're not exactly clear on whose.)
· Introducing the Anna Nicole autopsy report, fortified with nine essential life-snuffing nutrients!
· After Dark's fun with suicide campaign runs afoul of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and the still-hanging Captivity billboards earn the wrath of the MPAA.
· The week in Britney: Fun Fact! Presbyterian is an anagram of Britney Spears. A sexywear shopping spree to combat the post-rehab blues. The D-I-V-O-R-C-E finalizes, y'all.
· Diva-meltdown-mania with Katherine Heigl and Paul Rudd.
· Don't call it a comeback! Actually, Hillary would be fine if you called it that. Also: George Clooney cautious not to too eagerly dip Obama in his showbiz stink.
· Do you know who Jeremy Piven is? Because if you did, he'd be seated by now.
· Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston hold hands and jump the lesbian-kiss shark together.
· Help us remember a time when Sanjaya was not a household name. (We're not kidding. Please. Help us.)
· A poem: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Optimus Prime is red and blue. Transformers is gonna suck.
· Ick! Matthew McConaughey! (Oh, and killer jellyfish...But mostly Matthew McConaughey.)
· Relax. All those Studio 60 loose ends no one has been talking about will be resolved.
· Will Paris Hilton be served some rough justice?