· The entire Sopranos story, in just seven minutes! Who's got that kind of time? With some judicious cutting, we bet someone could get it down to a more YouTube-friendly 90 seconds.
· Diddy is brazenly stealing all his freak-you-wild material from Smoove B: "As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it. As meticulous as I am with my work, I'm more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time."
· Realizing that he hadn't been involved in a petty war of words in nearly 12 hours and desperate for the rush only pointless public confrontation can provide, feud-junkie Donald Trump picks a fight with a golfing magazine.
· No blood for mohel.
· After reading this story, our first thought was: Michael Jackson can't even afford health insurance anymore. How's he going to pay for the upkeep on the 50-foot robot?