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The first thing you should know about ex-Madonna nanny Melissa Dumas's book proposal, which recently sold and then un-sold to Crown when the smart bunnies at that esteemed publishing house realized that they would rather drink a venti mug of hot lead than deal with Madonna's lawyers, is that it's not like other book proposals. For starters, most book proposals don't have a bizarre clip art montage featuring the iconography from Mary Poppins.

Also, most book proposals don't feature a bio of the agent. More about that agent: Sharlene Martin, who represented This Used To Be My Playground (which eventually sold as Live To Tell) typically specializes in books like Hot Flashes With A Cool Beat and Hot Women, Hot Flashes and Loving Your Horse Without Losing Your Mind, so this project was a bit of a departure for her. But she does bring a unique set of qualifications to the table: she was "the founder of America's first Nanny Agency"! Good to know, except totally not.

After that bio (which follows a section of gossip column mentions of Madonna entitled "Madonna In The Zeitgeist"—did you know that Madonna is very famous?), readers must still wait until page 43 of the 75-page proposal for the first appearance by the lady who apparently is known to her employees as "M."

We will post the entire proposal later. Warm up your Immaculate Collections.
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