Rewriting the 'Post': Forget It, Jake, It's Chinese Food
It's time once again for everyone's favorite game, Rewriting the Post! In this installment, please enjoy this article about a Center for Science in the Public Interest report noting that Chinese food is full of calories and sodium (no shit, eggheads, that's why we eat it). Here's the Post lead: "The food police have a Mongolian beef with many meals served at Chinese restaurants." We've got a few rewrites, but we're sure the perfect opening pun is still out there. After that, we will all have fortune cookies.
- Just Tso you know, Chinese food is Generally not good for you.
- Be careful when ordering your favorite Chinese dishes: With two, you get diabetes!
- Keep eating that egg foo yung and you'll never get egg foo old.
- Ancient Chinese secret: Most of the menu items at your local restaurant are filled with fat and salt!
- Next time you take your number one son to chow down at your local Chinese place, be sure to shun leading menu items: Too much sodium may cause you to die nasty.
Wow. Clearly you guys can do better. Chop chop.
