How To Be A Gawker Commenter
As part of our commenting initiatives, we periodically reiterate for novice and senile readers how our glorious commenting system works. "How," some of you have asked, "can I become a member of exclusive, rarefied star chamber known as the Gawker commenting community?" We're glad you're interested in joining the snobby set! For the most general of generalized guidance, begin with the Gawker Comments FAQ.
Most Gawker commenters get access through invitations—personal invites asking them to join in the fun. We have also offered a brief general amnesty, opening the floodgates to the common folk for a shining few moments; that could, conceivably, happen again at any time in the future. The third option is the ongoing commenter audition, which is both easiest to try and easiest to fail.
Commenter auditions are quite simple. Even if you don't have comment access, you can submit a comment to any Gawker post. Just type your comment in the space provided, then enter a username and password (you're advised to use an alias as your username), and hit the "Submit Comment" button. The system will note that you're not an approved commenter, and you'll be asked to verify your password (and enter an optional email address for password recovery). Assuming you comply, your comment will be saved, but will not be posted yet. Instead, it will be submitted for review by a host of Gawker potentates to determine its worth (and by extension, your worth). If it's a fantastic comment, it (and you) will be approved; the comment will go live, and you'll have full Gawker comment access in future to post without moderation. If your comment's a waste of time, then it (and you) will be ignored.
When submitting a comment in this manner, you should write something that's worth a damn. Don't bother telling us how great we are, or how much we suck. We've heard it all before. Say something smart, or funny, or wise, or insightful, or best of all, informative. You're just one of many trying to cram in this particular doorway, so distinguish yourself from the proles if you want a seat at the table. Otherwise, you'll be kindly asked to wait at the bar. Forever.
If you like, feel free to review other people's comment history. Clicking on any commenter name in any Gawker post will take you to that commenter's home page, where all the comments they've ever made are collected in one place. We like to save everything for posterity, you understand.
Lastly, note that Gawker commenting is a privilege, revocable at any time and for most any reason. Commenter executions are regular and arbitrary, so be on your best behavior. Good luck, and be careful out there.