Attention, war-haters: tomorrow from 11:00 to 3:00, Columbia students will be holding a cell phone telethon for peace on College Walk. "Together, Columbia students will show that the student voice is not only passionate, but ready to fight for real, not symbolic, action to end this war." Real, not symbolic, action! Sort of like a cell phone telethon, only, you know, actually the opposite of that. Okay, but for real (not symbolic) we're happy that Columbia students are making the ultimate class-skipping sacrifice in order to support our troops, and we're sure that every penny of the $6,550 they aim to raise for UNICEF—one cent for every death caused by the war in Iraq as of March 20!—will make a big difference. We just hope that no one shows them this week's Shouts and Murmurs column, which kind of rains all over their class-skipping activist parade.